Tag Archives: watermelon

An open letter of disgust to the Life Savers Candy company…(Warning naughty words implied)

Dear Destroyers of Tradition, WHEN the flippin HECK did the Life Savers Story Books come full of nothing but FIVE MOTHER JUMPING Flavors???? EFF YOU, YOU EFFING MOTHER JUMPERS!!!!!! EFF YOU!!!!! I will never ask Santa for one again! YOU EFFING A-HOLES!!!! Where’s the Butter Rum??? HUH??? Where’s the Tropical Fruit? ANSWER ME! And what […]

How to select the perfect watermelon

Watermelon! It is either nature’s candy, a cool filling drink of water on a hot day, or a bitter mushy mess! The difference is all in careful selection! I chuckle when I see folks walk up to a bin of watermelons and grab one or two and toss them into their cart like they were […]