All posts by Doug Alley

Doug Alley

About Doug Alley

I grew up in Bath, Maine in an upper lower class family with 3 step sisters, a step brother, and a little sister. After high school I spent 3 years serving in the USAF at Elmendorf AFB in Anchorage AK. I've competed in, and won, demolition derbies. I've competed in, and never won, stock car races. I am the 47-year-old father of an 11-year-old boy who is pretty sure he is smarter than I ever was. We live on a little less than an acre of land in a 1973 mobile home in Stetson with my wife Jen, some cats, a few chickens, and rabbits, and a couple of goats. I hunt, fish, camp out, dabble in photography, gardening, and I cook in variable degrees of near success.

Are you a fan of the hot weather? NOT ME!

I was sitting in my living room around 10am thinking about how hot it must be outside. The air inside was already starting to get heavy and oppressive, despite the coolness that greeted me at 6am. Now and then I could hear a strong breeze rustling the leaves of the trees outside. So that was […]

My first (and LAST day) as an emergency dispatch operator

“This blog post is fiction and the events described did not happen. Please enjoy.” Sunday, May 28 was the first day of my new job as an emergency dispatch operator for the Bangor area. As it turned out, I would only take one call. But the guy must have been some kind of criminal mastermind […]

‘Great Fiery Orb’ seen over Maine on tuesday identified

Residents all over Maine awoke on Tuesday morning to a strange and terrifying sight in the eastern sky. What is being described as a “large fiery orb” hung low in the east, and as the morning wore on it slowly climbed higher and higher as it traveled west. Many people ran for shelter in caves. […]

Humans are more important than birds. Bring back DDT!

It’s spring in Maine, and my Facebook news feed is full of people reporting about the number of ticks they are already finding this year. Turkey hunters, pet owners, people doing yard work, and people just our for a stroll in the woods or overgrown areas are finding ticks on themselves, and their pets. People […]

Fooling a turkey is EASY!

Since it is turkey hunting season here in Maine, I seized an opportuity to show up the turkey hunters when I saw a turkey eating last year’s corn across the street from my house. I wanted to prove just how stupid these birds really are by calling it into shooting range from my front yard. Now […]

Watch out for turtles in the road!

We were driving down Rt7 in East Newport heading for the highway onramp when I noticed a couple of dark objects on the shoulder. I hit the brakes and made a turn to go back…Sure enough. Two snapping turtles were trying to cross the road. As I pulled the van over onto the shoulder and […]

The invasion of red-winged blackbirds

I was out in the yard enjoying a brief moment of sunshine during the April showers. My front yard has almost full southern exposure even though I have a lot of trees around me because I am in a little gully. The trees and shrubs thoughtfully planted by previous residents are the types that never […]

Can you identify this mystery slab in Livermore?

In one of the facebook groups I belong to, a member posted a picture of this large concrete slab with eye hooks in it. She hadn’t noticed it before she bought the property, so she never got a chance to ask the previous owner what it was. Now five years later, curiosity has her seeking […]

Kenduskeag Stream -1 Fat guy in a kayak -0

My wife has gotten sick of hearing me say how bad I wanna kayak down this, or that set of rapids, so  as we drove over the bridge in Kenduskeag she suggested I “try” kayaking down the rapids so she could get it on video. “You think I won’t?” I asked her. “Knock yourself out! […]

They say bad luck comes in threes…

Despite spending $489, I was still denied my NASCAR experience

There is an old saying that says bad things always happen in groups of three, and if that is true, I am sure glad, because right now I don’t think I could stand anymore…And I KNOW our wallet couldn’t! It all started with a trip to Newport for Chinese food. My son and I both like a […]