Monthly Archives: May 2017

My first (and LAST day) as an emergency dispatch operator

“This blog post is fiction and the events described did not happen. Please enjoy.” Sunday, May 28 was the first day of my new job as an emergency dispatch operator for the Bangor area. As it turned out, I would only take one call. But the guy must have been some kind of criminal mastermind […]

‘Great Fiery Orb’ seen over Maine on tuesday identified

Residents all over Maine awoke on Tuesday morning to a strange and terrifying sight in the eastern sky. What is being described as a “large fiery orb” hung low in the east, and as the morning wore on it slowly climbed higher and higher as it traveled west. Many people ran for shelter in caves. […]

Humans are more important than birds. Bring back DDT!

It’s spring in Maine, and my Facebook news feed is full of people reporting about the number of ticks they are already finding this year. Turkey hunters, pet owners, people doing yard work, and people just our for a stroll in the woods or overgrown areas are finding ticks on themselves, and their pets. People […]

Fooling a turkey is EASY!

Since it is turkey hunting season here in Maine, I seized an opportuity to show up the turkey hunters when I saw a turkey eating last year’s corn across the street from my house. I wanted to prove just how stupid these birds really are by calling it into shooting range from my front yard. Now […]

Watch out for turtles in the road!

We were driving down Rt7 in East Newport heading for the highway onramp when I noticed a couple of dark objects on the shoulder. I hit the brakes and made a turn to go back…Sure enough. Two snapping turtles were trying to cross the road. As I pulled the van over onto the shoulder and […]