I thought I was bitten by a spider. Now? I’m not so sure!

So back in October? Or a long time ago anyway, I got bit by a spider. I know it was a spider, cause I squished the little bastard just after he bit me.

He was a small black and disgustingly solid spider.  He kinda reminded me of a hermit crab without a shell, but he was smaller than a pea. A smooshing swipe barely stunned him, and I had to smoosh a second time to finish the job, and even then I am not sure he was 100% dead when he fell to the ground. When I first swatted him, he felt kinda hard, like I was squishing a beetle.

Anyway. The bite got a bit swollen, and it hurt like the dickens for like 3 weeks. For the first few days, I took some OTC antihistamines. I swabbed the bite with alcohol swipes for like a week, and then I forgot all about it. Then last Friday, for no reason at all, it started hurting again like it was fresh. It would flair up once or twice a day. Then yesterday it started to swell a bit. It never got much bigger than an M&M. Last night it started to tingle, so I looked at it, and it had a bizarre discharge oozing out. I gave it a little squeeze, and the liquid the rushed out was an odd mixture of white, yellow, and red. It almost looked like glitter!

For a second or two I panicked!  I was certain a zillion tiny spiders were going to erupt from the hole! I know with 100% certainty that I would have died right there on the spot if that had occurred.

Earlier this morning it started tingling again, and it had a fairly solid discharge trying to come out. It looked like a very thing grain of rice, or a white mechanical pencil led. I had Jen give it a good squeeze and all the white stuff came out, followed by some brownish looking blood.

Now it feels like a spider bite again. It’s not hot, there is little to no redness other than the bite itself. Not really any pain, except when a sleeve brushes it. Then it is a tingling, burning, throbiness. I’m starting to wonder…WAS it a spider? Or have I been attacked by an alien???

Doug Alley

About Doug Alley

I grew up in Bath, Maine in an upper lower class family with 3 step sisters, a step brother, and a little sister. After high school I spent 3 years serving in the USAF at Elmendorf AFB in Anchorage AK. I've competed in, and won, demolition derbies. I've competed in, and never won, stock car races. I am the 47-year-old father of an 11-year-old boy who is pretty sure he is smarter than I ever was. We live on a little less than an acre of land in a 1973 mobile home in Stetson with my wife Jen, some cats, a few chickens, and rabbits, and a couple of goats. I hunt, fish, camp out, dabble in photography, gardening, and I cook in variable degrees of near success.